Relationship Center of Loudoun

Professional Experience

and Interests 

Julie Sayre has a master's degree and is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, is a Clinical Member of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy (AAMFT) an AAMFT Approved Supervisor (SM) and a Certified Trauma Therapist. She is a therapist and educator in relational therapy, offering guidance to interns (Master's students at Virginia Tech University) and residents (Master's level graduates working toward licensure). Additionally, she is serving a term as Past President of the VAMFT (Virginia Association for Marriage and Family Therapy), after two years of service as President. She has special interests in the effects of trauma on couples and families, relational issues related to divorce and co-parenting as well as remarriage and stepfamiily issues, and family contextual issues for juvenile offenders. She has specialized training in Internal Family Systems Therapy (SM), a therapeutic model that considers aspects of each individual that affect relationships with oneself and others. Her master's thesis addressed relational stressors in couples forming stepfamilies ("Stepcouples"), and published a related article in the Journal of Marital & Family Therapy.

A Note from Julie: My Guiding Theory

My interventions are guided by attachment theory, which holds that all people seek attachment -- John Bowlby (see Resources) identified the need for attachment as a drive, just as hunger is a drive. Strong attachment is associated with physical and emotional safety when we're young, and with emotional safety for adults. Threats to an attachment bond can result in "attachment injury" - research suggests that this "injury" may be related to those irresolvable problems in relationships. Here's how: the original "injury" led to emotional pain which, if avoided or ignored, will lead to unease or unsafety in the relationship -- a negative vulnerability about the relationship. Once the attachment threat is processed through, one moves toward insight, empathy and connection -- this enables positive vulnerability and increased intimacy in the relationship.

We need a positive relationship with our self in order to experience a full and healthy relationship with others. This requires thorough self knowledge -- and that we know and accept all aspects of our selves -- and take responsibility for those aspects or "parts" of ourselves, acknowledging their needs while responding with our acquired adult wisdom. For example: we may know that a part feels unloved when we don't get what we ask for. We can extend compassion toward that part that feels "unloved", and empathize with why that part feels "unloved". At the same time, we can understand as the adult "Self", we don't always get what we ask for, it doesn't mean we aren't loved, and we can handle the "unloved parts"/feelings in positive or constructive ways.

When managing "parts"/feelings constructively is a struggle, therapy can be helpful, for the individuals and their relationships.